The title of this blog is “Healing validations” – and I am known for saying positive things to people. One of my clinical interns a long time ago dubbed me the “master of the positive reframe” – and lots of people trust me as someone who will build them up and make them feel better about themselves.
But I am realizing more and more clearly that saying nice things to people is only one side of the story. It may be 90% of the story. Roughly 90% of the time I am telling people they are great: “You’re on the right track – keep going.”
But sometimes they are not on the right track. And I am realizing that the other role I play with people – and maybe even the more important one – is to be the person who is can be counted on to say “No, that’s not OK. You have to do better.”
I explore these ideas in this 10 minute video.
