Struggling with the Covid?

To listen to me reading the text from this post click on this link:

Folks –

I have been struggling with some health issue – that I think is probably the Covid virus – for about 12 days now.

On Day 5, last Friday, I was so sick – and kind of delirious – that I started to put my affairs in order, making plans for my dog, etc.

Then, on Saturday and Sunday, I made a miraculous recovery and thought I was in the clear. Each day after that, I improved a little bit – but stayed clearly sick. Yesterday I got concerned that I wasn’t seeing very clearly.

This morning, I seemed OK for about an hour – then got smacked down with a wave of weakness and dizziness that put me back in bed, coming in and out of consciousness.

After a couple of hours, I got up – and got progressively (a little) better over the course of the day. Then tonight my lungs took a big hit – first time I have had any symptoms there.

That does have me pretty worried. The people who are closest to me know that I am at a very peaceful place in my life – really complete, especially grateful for the 20 months since I had a life-changing spiritual experience on June 26, 2019.

My blog offers a video journal of the last year and a half of my life. The very first post in the blog summarizes that story. (Click the link at the very top of the post to hear me read the post to you – that’s more fun.)

In case I do actually slide off the board, please remember:

1) From my “waking up” experience on June 26, 2019, I have had one hell of a ride. By far the most exciting time ever. Happy almost all the time – even in the most difficult of circumstances.

2) my blog is both my journal and my legacy.

There are probably 200 more videos in my phone. I talked with a friend about maybe somebody fishing them out. But the most crucial ones are already up there.

3) I am right now at the most peaceful place with Terry that I have been for a long time. He loves the roles of husband and father – and is doing a heroic job of taking care of his family during the pandemic. I am very proud of him.

4) If I go now, I leave with at least a couple of agendas incomplete:

I wanted to sue Mission Hospital and the American psychiatric Association. My blog post about mental health may still be useful somehow somewhere.

I wanted to get laid one last time.

But my message again and again from life – and from my friend Sam, who rode in the van for 10 days and who I loved as much almost as my son (4 or more videos about her, maybe only one posted – in the post about rehab programs):

The last instruction I gave her as she went into the convenience store to buy us a pack of cigarettes was “Only non-additive cigarettes. Fork over the seven dollars for American Spirits if you have to.”

When she returned with some red package that I did not recognize, I said in playful disgust,

“Oh God – menthol too. I forgot that you’re a menthol smoker.”

She gave me the sassiest, cutest little look and said just as playfully,

“You can’t always get what you want.”

I laughed really, really hard. She nailed that line better than the Rolling Stones.


Majo John

P.S. feel free to email me this weekend.

I may even bounce back and be here next week. This would not be the first time that the rumors in my head of my impending death were greatly exaggerated.

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These days all of my identities are converging: whether I am offering a blessing in the grocery store checkout line, offering a prayer in a poem or experiencing the kinship with all life while walking my or a client's dog - it's all the same. It's all Life.

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